Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Ebil! O_O
Or not, ello ello all. How is everyone today? I'm good, as usual. I'm always good to some degree or another. Life is a mellow even keeled road for me, good or bad there's still the center of that road I try to ride, and take from my journey what I can.
At work yesturday it was slow, as most mondays are. Work was happening but there was hanging out amoung coworkers too. We'd sit and talk, some about what shows they watch on TV. Others the weather. Even about new phones we have coming and how the future looks for the company (it looks good btw). One of my managers was talking with the rest of us too. Thats how it is at work, all are equel in each others eyes and there is no closed doors on communication, not a one. If I wished to talk to the owners of the company I could, though I wouldn't do so without something good to talk about, they're very busy afterall. I digress...
It was brought to my attention I have a very unique laugh. It's distinguishable from most anyone even if I am not visible. It's contagious to some degree, it spreads nicely. It was also presented to me in a certain way, that I cannot quote exactly, but I can relate to you. "Some people laugh at everything, even if it's not funny, like they want to be in the conversation, or be noticed. You, Steve, seem to genuinely see good things to laugh about in almost everything". Which I chuckled at, honestly, and got a point at me and an exclaimation "SEE! There it is!" with a smile.
At first I really didn't know how to take that. Part of me thought maybe it was a bad thing, I almost wanted to be defensive about it. Was I being poked at in fun? Was a part of my behavior being pointed out negatively to maybe make me stop? I don't think so. Those thoughts passed quickly, but afterwards I got to thinking more about myself and why I take life the way I do, which is to say with a smile and/or a laugh when I can.
Life is tough on us all at times. This is just truth, it needs no explaination further then that, it is what it is. Grumping about that fact, or hardening yourself to it doesn't do any good. Infact it's counter productive. Life is hard so you get harder? Where's the good to come in that. It may effect you less but are you living life if you go about in as complete seriousness as you can muster? Maybe the bad doesn't take you down as much as it might some, but that would be only because you are already down. What kind of life is it to live or feel it is worth living like that? It's like hating death so you should keep yourself closer to death so when you actually die, you only have to let go of a little life instead of all you've got.
To me the answer of a tough world and life is hard is to enjoy and celebrate the good things around you. I smile easily, and it's heartfelt. I don't just do it to do it, I genuinely feel the smile, I enjoy whats happening. If I'm breaking my back in some disgusting job I am still light hearted and smiling. I'll joke or chuckle, or do what I can to show others I am light hearted, and hope they catch a little of it. Give me a reason to laugh, even a little one and I will jump on it. Life brings me down with hardtimes and I use my lightheartedness as a stepping stool to pick myself back up again, and it's easy it really is. I cannot tell you how or why, but it truly is.
And at the end of the night I go to bed, looking back on my day and I don't see regrets, I don't see failings, I simply see life. Sure it could be better, but it could be worse. Even if my cup is only 10% full I make the most of it and will never let the 90% empty part haul me under. Let's face it, if life drags you around, whats the point?
Or not, ello ello all. How is everyone today? I'm good, as usual. I'm always good to some degree or another. Life is a mellow even keeled road for me, good or bad there's still the center of that road I try to ride, and take from my journey what I can.
At work yesturday it was slow, as most mondays are. Work was happening but there was hanging out amoung coworkers too. We'd sit and talk, some about what shows they watch on TV. Others the weather. Even about new phones we have coming and how the future looks for the company (it looks good btw). One of my managers was talking with the rest of us too. Thats how it is at work, all are equel in each others eyes and there is no closed doors on communication, not a one. If I wished to talk to the owners of the company I could, though I wouldn't do so without something good to talk about, they're very busy afterall. I digress...
It was brought to my attention I have a very unique laugh. It's distinguishable from most anyone even if I am not visible. It's contagious to some degree, it spreads nicely. It was also presented to me in a certain way, that I cannot quote exactly, but I can relate to you. "Some people laugh at everything, even if it's not funny, like they want to be in the conversation, or be noticed. You, Steve, seem to genuinely see good things to laugh about in almost everything". Which I chuckled at, honestly, and got a point at me and an exclaimation "SEE! There it is!" with a smile.
At first I really didn't know how to take that. Part of me thought maybe it was a bad thing, I almost wanted to be defensive about it. Was I being poked at in fun? Was a part of my behavior being pointed out negatively to maybe make me stop? I don't think so. Those thoughts passed quickly, but afterwards I got to thinking more about myself and why I take life the way I do, which is to say with a smile and/or a laugh when I can.
Life is tough on us all at times. This is just truth, it needs no explaination further then that, it is what it is. Grumping about that fact, or hardening yourself to it doesn't do any good. Infact it's counter productive. Life is hard so you get harder? Where's the good to come in that. It may effect you less but are you living life if you go about in as complete seriousness as you can muster? Maybe the bad doesn't take you down as much as it might some, but that would be only because you are already down. What kind of life is it to live or feel it is worth living like that? It's like hating death so you should keep yourself closer to death so when you actually die, you only have to let go of a little life instead of all you've got.
To me the answer of a tough world and life is hard is to enjoy and celebrate the good things around you. I smile easily, and it's heartfelt. I don't just do it to do it, I genuinely feel the smile, I enjoy whats happening. If I'm breaking my back in some disgusting job I am still light hearted and smiling. I'll joke or chuckle, or do what I can to show others I am light hearted, and hope they catch a little of it. Give me a reason to laugh, even a little one and I will jump on it. Life brings me down with hardtimes and I use my lightheartedness as a stepping stool to pick myself back up again, and it's easy it really is. I cannot tell you how or why, but it truly is.
And at the end of the night I go to bed, looking back on my day and I don't see regrets, I don't see failings, I simply see life. Sure it could be better, but it could be worse. Even if my cup is only 10% full I make the most of it and will never let the 90% empty part haul me under. Let's face it, if life drags you around, whats the point?
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Yes, there really is a disclaimer. First off this is a religious rant type blog. If that bothers you please leave. Understand I do not influence anyone to read what is ahead; it is opinion and should be treated as such.
Secondly, I am not here to attempt to convert the blindly faithful to the cause of science. I do not want anyone of faith to have doubt because they read what I had to say, if you feel this might be you, please close the blog now.
Thirdly, this is not an attempt to unite the scientific types abroad, as I do not conform to a strictly science view anyway. I am not seeking to validate anyone who believes anything I do; I am simply seeking conversation, not a following.
Lastly, if this offends you by the end, well, I did warn ya. I'm not going to be ignorant about anything within and I am not going to bash anything if I can help it. This is how I view things, not the fact that is guaranteed true.
Whoo, wasn't that a trip. I was tempted to end the blog here. Let people read the disclaimer and simply say Toodles after. What a hoot that would be. And probably easier than the mess I am going to pry into. Some have BEGGED me not to because they enjoy my blogs but would not enjoy a religious one, to them, I'm sorry, it has been long coming, it is now here.
First the trigger, a book. Of all things a fantasy novel, that gave me the final piece of info (for now) that has brought me to the conclusions I am about to present. The book is simply called "Phantom" by Terry Goodkind, a thick volume 11 of the Sword of Truth Series. I know, I know, Fantasy? Well, without going into a blog about it, Terry Goodkinds strength lies in creating tangible characters who are realistically built in a way to make one think they know them personally. Yes there is magic, yes even a dragon, but the story of the people far outstretches the magic that helps carry it. Anyway, back to where I was going....
Blind faith. Basing your belief in something that has not and cannot be proven or disproved. No matter how it is argued for or against science cannot disprove a God any more than religion or faith can prove one exists. This has been the fault line for centuries, millennia even. Scientists have even been slain for suggesting anything that countermanded the doctrine of religion; a doctrine, I might add, that is consider irrefutable simply because it is old. It is as old as the dirt we walk on and because it is such no one can discredit it.
Age lends much to such a thing. It has a foundation built out of a time that no one's fathers fathers father even remotely can remember. No one can say for sure Noah didn't come down from the mountain with the 10 commandments any more than anyone can claim for a fact that the big bang happened. With age comes supposed truth. Such was the case when the earth was flat. It was believed because...look, it's a flat surface, no curved edges, plus, people who had sailed out into the water...had simply never come back. Besides, it has ALWAYS been said to be flat...must be true. Same with the earth as a center to our solar system or even the universe upon a time, always said to be so, must be true.
Age also lends to the no questions can be asked policy. In the end anything questioned can be pawned off as Gods will because surely, religious books and teachings (Bible, Koran.... and several others who's name escapes me) had been written by a huge power surely not a man. Or even if it had been man, surely Mohammad told him as he moved the mountain? Buddha stopped sunning himself under that BIG tree in order to teach SOMEONE, Allah deemed it so, and God spoke to Peter and said "Write this down, but spice it up, ya know, thee and thou and such, thanks..."
In the end all faith is held on a basis of whim. One wishes it were so, and thus the convince others it is, they raise children and do not tell them they WISH it were so, they tell them it IS true. Until a religion isn't a wish, but the truth for a person or people. I had written a blog some time ago vaguely about whims and wishes. Simply put the only rule I can allow when stating my beliefs is reason. I cannot put wishes forth to form what I view as true any more than I can close my eyes and wish to fly but not at the least flap my arms to make it happen myself. With religion, it's a leap, and if you leap but you flap your arms you've broken faith. If you wince when you leap you are not resolute enough. But if you can leap eyes open and take the fall without ever believing you will hit bottom no matter what no what if's...you have true faith. And to be honest, I am jealous for I cannot rely on faith. I have no proof for which to rest my logic on so I am stuck in life as being a world of science and emotion of our own doings.
In the end...happiness, sadness, crime, punishment, good, bad, everything positive and negative amount to what you will have in the here and now. You cannot sacrifice what you desire in this life as a trade for some supposed paradise where 37 virgins await you and you 13 wives you had in the real world.
I will close this soon with a slight shocker to some at this point. I believe a higher power exist, though this power is not sentient in my mind. The power I speak of is the last link in proving the big bang. The last link that brings us from primordial goop to primordial life. It fills the gaps that science cannot...at least for now. And perhaps not ever. Perhaps science will even prove that there HAD to be a God. No if's and's or but's. Perhaps not. In the end I cannot believe a weekend ritual will make me go to heaven any more than giving in to the urge for premarital sex would send me to hell.
Lastly. Higher power or no. Faithful or not. It doesn't matter, that is your freedom in life, not mine to dictate, nor your place to dictate my choice in science and logic. That is why door-to-door religious salesman are the spawn of the Satan I do not even believe in. They think it is there right to cram what they feel they "know" without any proof mind you, upon me and to attempt a conversion. In the end, live as you feel happiest living, and let others do the same.
Secondly, I am not here to attempt to convert the blindly faithful to the cause of science. I do not want anyone of faith to have doubt because they read what I had to say, if you feel this might be you, please close the blog now.
Thirdly, this is not an attempt to unite the scientific types abroad, as I do not conform to a strictly science view anyway. I am not seeking to validate anyone who believes anything I do; I am simply seeking conversation, not a following.
Lastly, if this offends you by the end, well, I did warn ya. I'm not going to be ignorant about anything within and I am not going to bash anything if I can help it. This is how I view things, not the fact that is guaranteed true.
Whoo, wasn't that a trip. I was tempted to end the blog here. Let people read the disclaimer and simply say Toodles after. What a hoot that would be. And probably easier than the mess I am going to pry into. Some have BEGGED me not to because they enjoy my blogs but would not enjoy a religious one, to them, I'm sorry, it has been long coming, it is now here.
First the trigger, a book. Of all things a fantasy novel, that gave me the final piece of info (for now) that has brought me to the conclusions I am about to present. The book is simply called "Phantom" by Terry Goodkind, a thick volume 11 of the Sword of Truth Series. I know, I know, Fantasy? Well, without going into a blog about it, Terry Goodkinds strength lies in creating tangible characters who are realistically built in a way to make one think they know them personally. Yes there is magic, yes even a dragon, but the story of the people far outstretches the magic that helps carry it. Anyway, back to where I was going....
Blind faith. Basing your belief in something that has not and cannot be proven or disproved. No matter how it is argued for or against science cannot disprove a God any more than religion or faith can prove one exists. This has been the fault line for centuries, millennia even. Scientists have even been slain for suggesting anything that countermanded the doctrine of religion; a doctrine, I might add, that is consider irrefutable simply because it is old. It is as old as the dirt we walk on and because it is such no one can discredit it.
Age lends much to such a thing. It has a foundation built out of a time that no one's fathers fathers father even remotely can remember. No one can say for sure Noah didn't come down from the mountain with the 10 commandments any more than anyone can claim for a fact that the big bang happened. With age comes supposed truth. Such was the case when the earth was flat. It was believed because...look, it's a flat surface, no curved edges, plus, people who had sailed out into the water...had simply never come back. Besides, it has ALWAYS been said to be flat...must be true. Same with the earth as a center to our solar system or even the universe upon a time, always said to be so, must be true.
Age also lends to the no questions can be asked policy. In the end anything questioned can be pawned off as Gods will because surely, religious books and teachings (Bible, Koran.... and several others who's name escapes me) had been written by a huge power surely not a man. Or even if it had been man, surely Mohammad told him as he moved the mountain? Buddha stopped sunning himself under that BIG tree in order to teach SOMEONE, Allah deemed it so, and God spoke to Peter and said "Write this down, but spice it up, ya know, thee and thou and such, thanks..."
In the end all faith is held on a basis of whim. One wishes it were so, and thus the convince others it is, they raise children and do not tell them they WISH it were so, they tell them it IS true. Until a religion isn't a wish, but the truth for a person or people. I had written a blog some time ago vaguely about whims and wishes. Simply put the only rule I can allow when stating my beliefs is reason. I cannot put wishes forth to form what I view as true any more than I can close my eyes and wish to fly but not at the least flap my arms to make it happen myself. With religion, it's a leap, and if you leap but you flap your arms you've broken faith. If you wince when you leap you are not resolute enough. But if you can leap eyes open and take the fall without ever believing you will hit bottom no matter what no what if's...you have true faith. And to be honest, I am jealous for I cannot rely on faith. I have no proof for which to rest my logic on so I am stuck in life as being a world of science and emotion of our own doings.
In the end...happiness, sadness, crime, punishment, good, bad, everything positive and negative amount to what you will have in the here and now. You cannot sacrifice what you desire in this life as a trade for some supposed paradise where 37 virgins await you and you 13 wives you had in the real world.
I will close this soon with a slight shocker to some at this point. I believe a higher power exist, though this power is not sentient in my mind. The power I speak of is the last link in proving the big bang. The last link that brings us from primordial goop to primordial life. It fills the gaps that science cannot...at least for now. And perhaps not ever. Perhaps science will even prove that there HAD to be a God. No if's and's or but's. Perhaps not. In the end I cannot believe a weekend ritual will make me go to heaven any more than giving in to the urge for premarital sex would send me to hell.
Lastly. Higher power or no. Faithful or not. It doesn't matter, that is your freedom in life, not mine to dictate, nor your place to dictate my choice in science and logic. That is why door-to-door religious salesman are the spawn of the Satan I do not even believe in. They think it is there right to cram what they feel they "know" without any proof mind you, upon me and to attempt a conversion. In the end, live as you feel happiest living, and let others do the same.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Why must it be so complex?
Why must it be what it is? Life is complex beyond imaging. I don't think this gets better with age either. If I live to be 90 I think my biggest gain will be better acceptance for how it is as opposed to greater understanding of the why. And this bugs me to no end. I'm OCD, I'm a problem solver, I like to know how/why it works. Give me something I cannot answer, even if it has no bearing on me and I seek the answer out, I figure it out, I fix it. Not everything is so simple though is it?
Boy meets girl. Girl likes boy, boy likes girl. Nothing else comes to pass. Or they hook up and secretly hate eachother in 5 months. Boy cheats on girl. Girl loses trust without reason. People flee from what they have because it's so complex. But why is it so? If you get past the 2 big needs of a relationship shouldn't the rest be simple sacrifice? And small sacrifice at that. You like them, and they like you. You don't like the way their knees crack when they walk, accept it. They don't like the way you chew your food, accept it. Your views on life are different. Thats a good thing isn't it? What great sharing of life comes if you have someone exactly like you across the table from you at every turn? How long can you hold a conversation with yourself before your friends start to worry?
Confused yet? I am. This is just what I see in life all around. I see two people I know well who are great for eachother. They match where they should, they mismatch where it will keep life interesting and progressing, but never hook up. I see 2 people who do hook up but one doesn't fit in the others life, and the other doesn't have the will to speak up. Voiced oppinions and wants in the relationship go unheard, misery ensues, but they remain together. Can anyone make sence of such things? Seriously?
And then the broken. The ones who got into something that felt good and seemed good from the point of view they allowed themselves to take, and they become spiteful, hateful. They can blame an entire sex for choices they made when in the end it comes down to being the wrongs of one of two people, if not both. And I've been there, I know the spite, the almost hate of reality because I couldn't admit to myself that even though I thought it was right until it was wrong, I had missed something. They liked something I couldn't handle, didn't enjoy and couldn't accept. Their views on life were so different that they blurred mine until I could recognize myself with them. There was more seen by me then actually existed. Love doesn't over come all, some are simply not meant to be. This isn't fault, this is life. One guy or girl being wrong for you doesn't equal a bad sex, it equals bad choices. One person deceived you, you deceived one person. Issues were ignored that will come back later, or someone lied, but only one someone. You pickup, you heal, you move on and most importantly of all you learn. Life spent in bitterness isn't a life to be had. And a life spent regretting the past will leave you to wallow in your own misery with, at best, the comfort of believing you never did anything wrong.
Boy meets girl. Girl likes boy, boy likes girl. Nothing else comes to pass. Or they hook up and secretly hate eachother in 5 months. Boy cheats on girl. Girl loses trust without reason. People flee from what they have because it's so complex. But why is it so? If you get past the 2 big needs of a relationship shouldn't the rest be simple sacrifice? And small sacrifice at that. You like them, and they like you. You don't like the way their knees crack when they walk, accept it. They don't like the way you chew your food, accept it. Your views on life are different. Thats a good thing isn't it? What great sharing of life comes if you have someone exactly like you across the table from you at every turn? How long can you hold a conversation with yourself before your friends start to worry?
Confused yet? I am. This is just what I see in life all around. I see two people I know well who are great for eachother. They match where they should, they mismatch where it will keep life interesting and progressing, but never hook up. I see 2 people who do hook up but one doesn't fit in the others life, and the other doesn't have the will to speak up. Voiced oppinions and wants in the relationship go unheard, misery ensues, but they remain together. Can anyone make sence of such things? Seriously?
And then the broken. The ones who got into something that felt good and seemed good from the point of view they allowed themselves to take, and they become spiteful, hateful. They can blame an entire sex for choices they made when in the end it comes down to being the wrongs of one of two people, if not both. And I've been there, I know the spite, the almost hate of reality because I couldn't admit to myself that even though I thought it was right until it was wrong, I had missed something. They liked something I couldn't handle, didn't enjoy and couldn't accept. Their views on life were so different that they blurred mine until I could recognize myself with them. There was more seen by me then actually existed. Love doesn't over come all, some are simply not meant to be. This isn't fault, this is life. One guy or girl being wrong for you doesn't equal a bad sex, it equals bad choices. One person deceived you, you deceived one person. Issues were ignored that will come back later, or someone lied, but only one someone. You pickup, you heal, you move on and most importantly of all you learn. Life spent in bitterness isn't a life to be had. And a life spent regretting the past will leave you to wallow in your own misery with, at best, the comfort of believing you never did anything wrong.